Friday, August 29, 2008

Frustration

If you look at my last few posts the recurring theme was how much I was still enjoying the game.

If you look at that last sentence you'll notice the word "was" - as in past tense.

It didn't take much to reach this point. My role as healer has become limited by other healers going on runs and by my gear restrictions. My alt's aren't geared enough for much of anything and after the enormous push to gear my healer and how quickly she's become stymied, I just don't feel the desire to try it again with the alts.

And leveling another character? I have the 64 druid and the 63 priest and absolute no desire to get them to 70 and hit that same gear wall. Even the 33 shaman where I'd be almost certain to have a spot in Kara and everything else the guild there is doing...

I don't know. I wish I hadn't gotten to the point where I was enjoying healing and instancing so much because I was perfectly satisfied to level alts and now I'm not. I just can't make myself PUG because I'm too acutely aware of my weaknesses. If all I can really do is Heroic Slave Pens or Heroic Underbog over and over and over... well, I'm already sick of those.

It didn't take much to completely undermine my blossoming healing self-esteem. I went on a Sunwell trash run. Keep in mind that I've never set foot in Kara. I was the #4 healer of 10 healers. (There were a couple switch outs.) The shaman healing gloves that dropped went to an enhance shaman. And when dps and healing reports were posted at the end, mine was questioned. "You weren't there the whole time." "Yes, I was. I was there for the big guy and stayed until the end." "Well, your meters are wrong." Other people posted meters that weren't much different than mine, but that questioning, the statement that I hadn't even BEEN there... deflated me. It wasn't losing on the gear. It wasn't losing on so much as a gem. It wasn't the 15g worth of buff food and elixirs I used or the 25g repair bill in exchange for the dubious distinction of having "been in Sunwell." It was that simple refusal that I'd even been there or done adequately.

Yes, you may be uber geared and I'm not. But I didn't make any mistakes (like that holy pally that pulled on the reset every single time) or do anything bad.

I guess what I'm saying is... doesn't anyone remember being in this place? Being on the wrong side of the gear gap and unable to progress? Sure, people in big guilds get to decrease the size of that gap and maybe I could try to take advantage of that myself. But after the little bit of experience I've had, I'm not seeing enough advantage in gear to deal with those personalities.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

A Change in the Line Up

So there has been some more shuffling. My "ten" alts has expanded and one has left circulation. I finally gave up the ghost on the very first level 40 I ever had: my gnome mage. I just had zero interest in playing her and only kept her out of sentimentality. But I finally did it and... she's gone. Fare the well, little gmage. (Wave to her on the top corner of the header... she'll be gone from there soon as well.)

In her place I finally gave in to my itch to try a rogue. I went with Night Elf so I could get friends to run her through things. She has pretty much everything from Deadmines and Shadowfang Keep now, though she's only 14.

Aside from the rogue who hasn't been out much this week, I'm mostly alternating playing four characters: my alliance druid who is 63 now, my "main" (as much as I have one) 70 resto Draenei shammy, my now level 27 Tauren shammy on a friend's server, and... a Night Elf shadow priest who is level 62.

I've been playing that shadow priest with a friend who is leveling a rogue for the last two levels and it has to be said: that is FUN. Never thought I'd enjoy her as much as I am. It's been a treat.

I guess my point in all this would be that I never expected to be where I am with WoW right now. When I started playing, where I was a year ago, where I was six months ago... all vastly different from where I am now and where I hope to be by the time the expansion comes.

I was the person who hated pvp intensely. And, while I can't say I love it now, I have pvped enough for several pieces of gear and that 27 shammy I mentioned is on a pvp server. I was terrified of instancing... and while I can't say that has changed either, I actually keep seeking it out to challenge myself. To the point that last night I pestered my "instance rat" friend into getting off his rogue and getting on his tank to go do Heroic Slave Pens (still hate that second boss) and then try Magister's Terrace.

We wiped twice on Kael'thas before finally admitting we just didn't have the dps we needed. There were lots of moments in that run that were both humiliating and awesome. For humiliating - there were a ridiculous number of random wipes for silly reasons, one of which was the most unsneaky rogue who ever PUGed - Hello! Vanish! Or else die yourself and let us rez! Don't bring us your accidental trash pull after a wipe! For awesome - we nailed that fight with Priestess Delrissa that is essentially a 5v5 arena fight. Okay, we nailed it on the second attempt. But still! We nailed that pull right before Kael'thas. I think we did great on a lot of it, especially since two of us had never been there (myself included) and one of us (*cough*rogue*cough*) acted like she had just gotten her character off eBay.

For myself, I know I still need improvement. I want to try and get my mana pool up a bit. I'm sitting right at 10k, bonus heals fully buffed just a bit over 1500... but I want to push that more, more, more. I'm just not sure how right now without some more/higher dungeoning. I could pvp for a few more pieces but they just don't seem worth the time for rather slight upgrades. I need more Honor Hold rep for the healing glyph. I think I'm going to drop skinning and let the druid carry that responsibility and pick up alchemy so I can get the Shattered Sun alchemist's stone. Of course, that requires me finishing the rep grind for Scryers and Shattered Sun. Is it worth it at this point? Having done it with my Horde hunter, I just don't feel willing to do it for another character.

This morning I also realized I probably need to start gathering some melee gear for the likely respec when Wrath comes out and it's back to leveling. I don't think I have the patience to level resto and elemental solo seems likely to be trouble as well. Who knows, though. By the time Wrath comes out things could change. But next time that mail AP gear is going to be D/Ed, I may ask for it.

But while so many bloggers seem to be getting burned out on WoW, I'm still as excited as ever about this game. The only things really bumming me at the moment are the difficulty in leveling/gearing that little shammy to catch raiders in t5, and the gear gap between where our little band of Ysera raiders are and where the next step should be. Perhaps the biggest problem on that second thing is that there just aren't enough of us to put together Kara yet. And with everyone on LFG seeming to approach Kara as a badge factory, finding people to go along with us: bottom of the gear list, inexperienced, enthusiastic but needing some time... just doesn't seem likely. I am still hoping we can do it before expansion. But I'm still having fun, still look forward to logging in, and still think it's a deal to exchange $15 a month for this.